Attack of the Mush: On Craziness

While I was browsing the ever-so-time-consuming Facebook, I saw my ex (the first one) with his current and I must zay they are looking so cute. Holding hands while posing for a photo. Damn! I hate happy relationships!



I know! I know! It sounds bitter but just like my newest ink reminds me (that) “Amantes sunt Amentes” which is Latin for Lovers are Lunatics! And so indeed we are! And last night was a true testament on how crazy I am.



It was late, maybe around 11ish when I decided to turn-in and focus on Michael Scott’s 3rd installment of the Nicholas Flamel series --- The Sorceress, which Vicky and I are absolutely addicted to. We are in fact planning to by the last installment of the book later. And while I was engrossed reading what will happen to Perenelle and the twins of the legend, my mobile rang. And yes, it was ze ex. It took me a few seconds to contemplate whether or not I’ll pick up but alas, this story would have no sense if I didn’t. Knees shaking, arms trembling, I tried and kept my voice as nonchalant as possible. He said he was at my condo and asked if he could come up my unit to visit. Trying to still keep any emotion away from my voice, I said, “Yes!” Now before you get your panties in a wad, nothing remotely sexual happened. We talked. Ok, maybe hugged for a few seconds. Alright, minutes! But that was just it. He said he missed me and wanted to see me. And to be honest, I missed him too.



He was in and out of my place in less than 10mins. Any minute longer and it would have spelled trouble for both of us. I keep asking why had to come. I keep asking what it is that he wants from me and all he could say was that he wanted to be friends. It was then I realized I wanted what we had before or none at all. It was then I made a conscious effort to stop loving him. I could not be his friend, not now at least. So it’s either we get back together or have nothing to do with each other at all. After he left, I kept thinking what was different and then it dawned upon me… he’s too much of a coward to even take the risk of getting back together. It also came as a surprise that after waiting for so long to see him, when I finally did… I felt nothing. I felt no anger, no pity, no warmth, and no happiness. Nothing.



I realized that waiting is the most important thing that you can do for love… but it proved to me one thing…



As it goes it can also…



Change your mind!

Love letters and idealism by Noel Abelardo